Flying Off to University Can Leave an Empty Nest
This is the time of when the new university year begins. First year students may be preparing to leave home for the first time. This is a big change and internet searches unearth a lot of advice on how to help your child through this.
If you are a parent of a first year student, this may also bring big changes for you. For example, the day-to-day pattern of your lives may be different. Your sense of identity may be affected. And, your child’s increased independence and maturity may change your relationship with them.
Such changes bring opportunities. There may be more time to do things you want to do. You may discover and have time to nurture neglected parts of your identity. You may be able to develop your other relationships or new ones.
However, this change also brings losses and some may experience grief (often this is referred to as empty nest syndrome).Therefore, as well as planning how to help your child through this transition, it may help to consider yourself. Recognising and allowing how you are feeling in the run up to your child leaving and how you might feel once they’re gone, can be valuable. It can allow you to plan how you are going to look after yourself during this time.
Suggested ways of coping include:
- Keeping in regular touch with your child
- Starting something new – a new job or hobby
- Spending more time on your other relationships
- Taking care of yourself
- Reminding yourself of the positives – what you and your child have achieved in reaching this point and the future opportunities for you both.
If you find yourself struggling, you are not alone. Talking to someone – whether it is a friend or a professional – may help.
There are lots of websites offering information and advice about empty nest syndrome. If you want to read more, there are a couple of links below. Also included is a link to a 2018 article about Gordon Ramsey’s experience when his son first left, if you want to read a personal account.
https://www.betterup.com/blog/empty-nest-syndrome
https://www.priorygroup.com/blog/what-is-empty-nest-syndrome-tips-for-parents-who-are-struggling