Flying Off to University Can Leave an Empty Nest
This is the time of when the new university year begins. First year students may be preparing to leave home for the first time. This is a big change and internet searches unearth a lot of advice on how to help your child through this.
If you are a parent of a first year student, this may also bring big changes for you. For example, the day-to-day pattern of your lives may be different. Your sense of identity may be affected. And, your child’s increased independence and maturity may change your relationship with them.
Such changes bring opportunities. There may be more time to do things you want to do. You may discover and have time to nurture neglected parts of your identity. You may be able to develop your other relationships or new ones.
However, this change also brings losses and some may experience grief (often this is referred to as empty nest...
Smiling and struggling. Flawed and valuable.
I like the image below as it reminds us that we can all be such a mixture of different things and not to make assumptions about others or ourselves. Just because someone is an extrovert, this doesn't mean they they aren't lonely. Just because we are flawed, it doesn't mean we can't be valuable. I particularly like the one that shows we can be kind and have boundaries - in fact having boundaries can be one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves.
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World Wellbeing Week 2023
Here we are in the middle of another awareness week. It may well be something else awareness week too. After all, there are only 52 weeks in the year and infinite important things that we could increase our awareness about. However, for now, let's focus on wellbeing, as anything that reminds us to look after ourselves is valuable.
The NHS offer a 5 step plan to increase well-being.
Connect with other people
Be physically active
Learn new skills
Give to others
Pay attention to the moment
If you want to know more visit: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/
We just need to make sure that 'looking after our wellbeing' doesn't become another thing we are failing to do. If it feels daunting, just doing one thing you know helps, or trying one thing you think might, is a step in the right direction. Even if it is just pausing for a cup of tea!
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Which type of the therapy would suit me?
Before I started looking at training to be a counsellor, I had no idea about the range of different types of therapy there are.
If you are looking for a therapist, this article might help you to choose a form of therapy that suits you.
https://nationalcounsellingsociety.org/counselling-directory/types-of-therapy?fbclid=IwAR0JOeWhSF3P8DOwe8dum6_byjpstF-Cg1ZiuvJNdKyjBXoC2KP3kxPhUIQ
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Mental Health Awareness Week
Are you aware that this week is Mental Health Awareness Week? It made me think about just how far we have come in our awareness and understanding of mental health. Hopefully, weeks like this will continue this progress. Unfortunately, support for people struggling with mental health issues is far from adequate. In my view this is something which desperately needs to change. In the meantime however, increasing our own knowledge and understanding may help us to take better care of ourselves.
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Today is World Bipolar Day
Did you know that today is World Bipolar Day and Vincent Van Gogh’s birthday?
This is not a coincidence. This hugely famous and influential artist was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar. Now his birthday has become a day for raising awareness of this condition.
According to Bipolar UK, 1.3 million people in the UK have bipolar. Let’s hope then that days like this help to improve awareness and understanding, as well as the support available to those who need it.
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Time To Talk Day – 2nd February 2023
Did you know that today is Time To Talk day? On this day we are encouraged to talk about mental health. The aim is to reduce stigma and create more supportive communities where we can talk about mental health and seek help if we need to.
One in four of us will experience a mental health problem in any given year. Therefore, making mental health something we can openly talk about is important, not just today, but everyday.
If you want to know more visit https://timetotalkday.co.uk
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Self-care rather than self-improvement?
I was reading an online article on how to look after yourself if you are grieving in the new year. Visit https://mindfulnessandgrief.com/manage-grief-in-the-new-year/ if you are interested.
Number 1 on the list of suggestions was to create a different style of New Year’s resolution. One which focusses on self-compassion and self-care rather than self-improvement. It made me think that whether we are grieving or not, this might be a good idea. Focus less on being better or doing things better. Focus more on taking better care of ourselves. Perhaps then we would avoid reinforcing the message that we are not good enough. Instead we might show ourselves we are worthy of care.
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Christmas – “The most wonderful time of the year”?
For some of us it is, but lots of us find it difficult for many different reasons. This struggle can be made even tougher by the message that we should be enjoying ourselves and the sense that other people are.
If you are worried about Christmas, the Mind website has some suggestions of things which may help.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/christmas-coping-tips/
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Fancy trying laughter yoga?
Laughter yoga, created by Dr Madan Kataria, is something I hadn’t heard about until I came across an article about it. Kataria claims it reduces stress, makes your immune system stronger and keeps your mind positive.
I just found one of his videos on You Tube and gave it a go. I felt a bit silly (even though I was on my own), but it did raise my mood.
I wonder if doing this in a group might stimulate more genuine laughter in response to others’ laughter. Perhaps I will try it and see.
Even if I decide laughter yoga it is not for me, it did remind me that creating opportunities for laughter – whether through something like this, spending time with funny friends, or watching a good comedy – can make things feel better.
Have a read and see what you think.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/oct/09/why-the-health-benefits-of-laughter-yoga-will-make-you-smile#:~:text=In%202005%2C%20a%20Scientific%20American,laughter%2Dinducing%20therapies%20improve%20depression.
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